merlin is shifty - julesoh


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Fabella's 2011 Year In Vidding Meme
merlin is shifty - julesoh
This entry is an image heavy response to questions about my experiences in vidding during 2011. Naturally there will be spoilers for my vid, and the shows my vids focus on. Comments are welcome. Questions are extra welcome. I might even interact! Whoo!

Fabella's 2011 Year In Vidding Meme

(Your Biggest Fan - September 2011)


February: Sleepwalker (The OC)
May: Not Your Toy (Glee)
June: Goodbye Kiss (SPN)
August: Girl with One Eye (Harper's Island), Your Throat, My Teeth (Teen Wolf)
September: Your Biggest Fan (SPN)
October: Pack (Teen Wolf)
November: Awkward/Awesome! (Community)
December: Rolling in the Deep (White Collar)

My favourite video this year

(Awkward/Awesome! - November 2011)

I'd say my favorite video that I made this year was That Awkward/Awesome Moment. I never expected to fall for or vid Community this year, but when it happened, I fell hard. The show just feels so natural to me. All the weird off-hand moments in my head and my life --- they are very like Community. Interconnected, but not necessarily linear. Just weird. This video was a beautiful release for me, after a lot of the emotional storms I'd been cooking up in my vidding throughout the year. It was nice to just be friendly with vidding again, vid something sweet and sincere. Troy and Abed are a lot ridiculous, and my crush on Troy is about a mile wide, so vidding them was like indulging in alllll the fair goodies with none of the calories or belly ache. It's also a video of my own that I personally watched on repeat for ages, just because it encapsulated all my favorite things about them in one easily accessible location. I'm lazy like that. Maybe that's why I really vid? So I can see all the awesome stuff in one place? It explains so much.

My least favourite video this year:

(Goodbye Kiss - June 2011)

Goodbye Kiss. I don't hate it. There a quite a few bits of it that I really like, visually. Emotionally, it has some high points. I just wish I had done more with it. I think I could do better. There are some glitches in it that I never quite ironed out, and itty bitty things like that ruin stuff for me, even in retrospect when I have no intention of fixing them because the source is no longer there. I'm not done with Sam/Castiel yet. I think because the show gives us so little, I feel the need to vid their relationship. I want to create the substance the show lacks.

Most successful video:

(Sleepwalker - February 2011)

Sleepwalker. Definitely. I could have gone with "Your Biggest Fan" because that video received a bit of attention as well, but I think even a mediocre SPN vid sometimes gets more attention than a really kick-ass vid in another fandom, so I'm going with this answer. Sleepwalker was a video that I had no expectations in posting that I would receive any response from the audience. It was a small fandom back in the day, and it's a smaller fandom now. I underestimated how many people felt the same way I did at the end of the show. They needed closure too, and maybe I'm overstepping, but this video might have provided a little of that needed satisfaction. It did for me personally. I don't know if I ever see myself vidding in this fandom again. Maybe something fun that captures the joy the show did bring me when it was at its best.

Outside of audience reaction, it was a video that felt like a relief to finish. I'd been wanting to make the video for quite some time, so when it finally all came together, it was utterly satisfying. Not all videos feel that good, even from the distance of almost a year, but if I rewatched it right now, I would still go, "yes, that is a really good video. I did everything I wanted there."

Video most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

(Rolling in the Deep - December 2011)

Flat out, Rolling in the Deep is the best video I've ever done. It's honest, it's tight, it's personal, and it's contextual. I also think it's visually crisp, clean, and just interesting to look at. I'm sure it's not flawless, but right now it's the diamond in my stack of rocks.

To be honest, even if it's embarrassing to say so, I was expecting more of a response to this one, something I haven't expected all year, simply because I've been so introverted with my work, but the response was minimal. I was pretty sad. Maybe it's the small fandom? But I've vidded smaller fandoms and had more of a response, so maybe there's something missing or wrong with the video that I'm not aware of. LJ was acting up at the time. I dunno. It was definitely a video where the effort I put in did not create an equal measurable response. I'm hoping that there is more to come, because honestly? I just want to talk to someone about it. I want someone to get it on a gut level like I do. MY EMOTIONS, DUDE. MY EMOTIONS. /Troy

Still? I am totally glad I made this video. At the end of the day, a million comments would not be enough. I'd still want to talk about it.

Most fun video:

(Not Your Toy - May 2011)

I've used That Awkward/Awesome Moment already, but besides that one, it'd definitely be Not Your Toy, the Kurt/Blaine vid that was meant for Vividcon, but never made it there. It's just a peppy, cute video, full stop. It had a fun format, a back and forth between the two boys, and there was a bunch of pretties dancing around. And Kurt? Prettiest boy to vid ever. For serious. It is also a bit quirky. I think my sense of humor came through in this video than it normally does. I'll chalk it up as a win.

Video with single sexiest moment:

(Sleepwalker - February 2011)

Sleepwalker, again. I know I've used it. I'm using it again because I'm being honest. 1.01-1.04 was desire in a vid form like whoa. I think the entire video was made slashier by using those two scenes next to each other. A scene with sort of uncomfortable bodily contact followed by a scene of one character watching the other sleep, face filled with longing, set to "It's like I can't even feel," in Adam Lambert's moany voice. Damn. Still gets me every time. Those few seconds define Unresolved Sexual Tension... and that is my favorite type of tension. Until it gets resolved.

Biggest vid fail:

(Pack - October 2011)

I hate to say it, but if I have to choose one to take a hit, I think the award goes to Pack, the Jackson/Stiles vid for Teen Wolf. I love, love, love the video, but I don't think I nailed the concept I wanted to present as well as I could have, which was Derek infecting Jackson with all kinds of latent Stiles desires. In my defense, it's a super weird concept! Instead I ended up with a vaguely threesome-ish vid. Still fun! But not quite what I was going for. Oh, well, the video is still lovely to look at. And there are a ton of things about the video that I think are spot on.

Even though I failed to convey the concept as well as I could have, I still really love what I did with it overall. One moment stands out.

This one:

If we get more Jackson/Stiles scenes next season, I'm totally doing a re-make. As it is, I already want to try again somehow. I love vidding this show. It's just so many flavors of cotton candy.

Hardest video to make:

(Girl with One Eye - August 2011)

It's a toss up between a few of my videos. I'll go with one I haven't mentioned, Girl with One Eye, which I also didn't write much for notes about. I struggled with the video because it came from a source with quite a bit of gore, and I'm not great at gore, but I needed the video to be creepy. The song demanded creepy. I went the implied creepiness route quite a bit, because I find that scarier anyway, but I did manage a bit of gore, which I'm proud of. It was also a very focused video, and the focused videos are the hardest to keep on the track, because you cannot let yourself use aaaallll the shiny source, or your vid will be a mess. I had a story I wanted to tell, and I wanted to mirror the feel of Harper's Island (not tell the tale exactly as it happened, but imitate the format in which the big reveals were made). This is also a video where I didn't receive much of a reaction, but I expected that given the source so it bothered me not at all.

I was satisfied with how I integrated the other characters into the vid, Wakefield in particular, and I think the acidic yellow did a lot to pull the video together mood-wise. It feels like a video about horrible things to me. Mission accomplished.

Most unintentionally telling video:

(Sleepwalker - February 2011)

Can I say all my vids this year? I don't care, that's my answer. This year was a year of breaking up with the love of my life so far. I relived it every moment in everything I did. I've been a functioning disaster. I think you can see the ups and downs of these feelings in almost every video I made this year.

(Your Biggest Fan - September 2011)

I learned so much about myself, some of it not so pretty. And trust me, the self exploration has only begun. We are still trying to work things out. You'll see more about it in my next few vids, I imagine.

(Rolling in the Deep - December 2011)

What you're planning for 2012:

I really don't know. I always make plans, but I fly by the seat of my pants most of the time when it comes to vidding. Instead, let me reveal what I would like: I want to revisit fandoms that I've long loved, but vidded little. Due South is a big one for me this coming year. I'm bringing Ray Kowalski back to the forefront of my fannish mind. I have a vidlet and a full length vid planned. I'm sure you'll see an SPN vid or two (there is this epic Sam/Cas AU vid that I want to do, but it's just so much work, I dunno), and probably something to do with Glee, though that one I'm not totally sure about just yet, my love for anything but Kurt has long since waned. I plan on vidding White Collar to Duffy's "Well, Well, Well" once season 3 is over. I'm hoping for a certain type of footage before I vid it. If I get it before the season is over, I might just go ahead and start.

I really, really, really want to vid Merlin again. So badly. I feel like I just don't love the vids I've done for Merlin anymore. They feel very dated. I want to make an epic Merlin vid. I want to make an impact on the fandom that will last long after it's gone. I really do. I just don't know how.

I imagine Teen Wolf will play a part somewhere in 2012.

I'd like to vid Haven.

I'd like to vid The Walking Dead.

I'm sure I will get distracted from all these vid plans and vid something I have no idea I'm going to as of right now. That's how it normally works for me. I do know for sure that I want to open up a bit more about my vidding process, maybe document progress as others have, and I want to continue to try new styles.

Outside of the creation process, I'd really like to interact more with other vidders. I've been extremely introspective, and while it's been good for me, I'd like to talk more about the process. And squee! I need more squee! I miss Vividcon. I need there to be more of that in my life. That's my biggest goal of 2012. Socializing. Productive socializing. :)

Anything else you want to add:

This was a successful vidding year for more, especially the past six months. I didn't make a ton of vids, but I did keep up a good production pace, and most of what I put out was quality work. I managed to finish a couple very lengthy projects as well, so I'm counting 2011 as a win.

I can say that I follow my own path as a vidder now. When I first began to vid, I very much wanted to vid how others seemed to want me to vid. I was extremely impressionable. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I don't think vidding was quite the same release for me as it is now---more of a pressure, really. It did help me to learn the tricks of the trade. Now vids are satisfying to me in a deeper way that isn't dependent on the comment count (though, hey, that never hurts!) My recommendation to any newbie vidder is to take those vidding rules with a grain of salt. Yes, they are rules for a reason, but truly, just enjoy the meta as a discussion topic, not as a guideline. Vid by instinct. Make it your own. Twist the rules to fit your own personal style.

(Your Throat, My Teeth - August 2011)

See you in 2012! I'm looking forward to learning more right alongside all of you beautiful vidders and vid-watchers alike. Hopefully you'll continue on my journey with me for many more years to come.

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As you can see, I'm catching up on a lot of your vids belatedly. I just haven't been around for a lot of the year for one reason or another so I'm hoping to do a lot of catch-up watching ... these end of year posts are so helpful! :) I also always adore reading them. They are one of my favourite forms of meta from other vidders because I get to hear how they FEEL about their vids. It's that little glimpse behind the curtain. ;)

As I'm still reeling from watching 'Rolling in the Deep', I can definitely say 2011 seems like it was a great year for you!! That is a stellar vid and seems like it should be a real crowd pleaser so I can understand your surprise at the lack of comments. And your love for the (clearly EPIC) story between Peter and Neal shines through and is mesmerising. The betrayal, the betrayal!! Perhaps December is just a tough time to post?

I'm glad you managed to explore so much in your vidding this year--it feels wild and free and REAL to the viewer.

but I don't think vidding was quite the same release for me as it is now---more of a pressure, really
Reading this made me laugh involuntarily (and somewhat painfully) in recognition. Yeeaaah.... I could definitely say that too! It is wonderful to read this last paragraph of yours. I'd second all of it. Vidding by instinct is the most important thing, and yes, newbie vidders, YOUR instinct IS ENOUGH.

I'm sorry 2011 was so rocky for you personally--but I can see you've come through it stronger and your heart shines in everything you make. (((HUGS))) I hope 2012 brings you love, joy and ever more personal expansion!

Dude, I love that you are using this to catch up! That's a good idea. I wish there was a mass hash tag about this though, because I read my f-list sporadically, so I'm bound to miss out on a few posts. I am so glad you like Rolling in the Deep. That vid was like, the culmination of every vid I made this year somehow. It really tied everything together for me, so much so that I actually did an End of the Year meme... which I don't think I have before.

"Vidding by instinct is the most important thing, and yes, newbie vidders, YOUR instinct IS ENOUGH."

Quotable. Instinct makes the best vidders! Making the video you would want to see, that's how the epic vids are created.

2011 was definitely rough, with some clear personal high points as well, but hey, I roll with the punches to be honest. I'm doing great. And I translated a lot of my emotions into vids and writing. I was more creative this year than I've been in a long time. That's definitely a plus!


I see we both have goals of being more interactive in the coming year. Here's to trying!

I'm sorry to hear this was such a tough year for you personally and I hope 2012 is filled with happiness for you to balance. Just wanted to say how much I love and am awed by your vidding talent and can't wait for more in the new year (especially if SPN is still in the mix *g*).

It was a rough year, but I think it was for a lot of people, and I'm a toughie :) Thank you so much for the comment. Coming from you, that makes me beyond pleased. And yeah, SPN is still in the mix. I've said it before, but SPN is infinitely viddable to me. I think it will be long after it is of the air. I think I'm only just beginning to vid it the way I truly want to. My clip library just gets bigger and bigger! Here's to another year of vidding Sam's bitch faces and Dean mowing down on way too many greasey foods! lol :)

i'm still so in love with your sleepwalker vid even though i've never really delved much into the OC fandom. and i agree re: rolling in the deep. it was tight and slick and beautiful. i look forward to seeing you vid merlin again!

I'm thrilled this year was personally successful for you, and wish you more of the same next year. I've watched about half of your output this year, being sources I know, and everything I've seen I've really liked, particuarly Your Biggest Fan and Sleepwalker. As for the ones whose sources I don't know, it's a bit painful because it's SO CLEAR that what I'm seeing/feeling isn't anywhere the whole picture, and I just know that if I knew the source it would hit me so much harder. It's an interesting reaction because I think not knowing the fandom wouldn't really hinder my appreciation of some other vidders' works, but for you, it does matter because you dig so deep and feel so much about what you're vidding. It's an interesting dilemma, and I wouldn't want it another way where I could, say, superficially enjoy all your vids more at the expense of truly feeling the ones that I know the context of, but it just makes me wistful that I don't know all your fandoms all the time. :D

To be honest, even if it's embarrassing to say so, I was expecting more of a response to this one, something I haven't expected all year, simply because I've been so introverted with my work, but the response was minimal. I was pretty sad. Maybe it's the small fandom?
Some of it would be fandom-related, but from what I've seen this year, vidding comment numbers as a whole have plummeted this year to a really surprising degree. I think a lot of vidders on LJ must have gone through some sort of internal recalibration process when it comes to predicting comment numbers. I'm still trying to figure out why it's happened, but I think it's happening all over the board and the (lack of) reaction to Rolling in the Deep may have been as much that as anything else?

I just watched Sleepwalker for the first time right now and I have to say, I think it is your best vid of the year (though the White Collar one was pretty damn close and I'm saying that as someone who doesn't even watch that show). I would love to see you do more OC vids, like either something about Ryan becoming a Cohen (my favorite aspect of the show) or just boys being boys (or even a Chrismukkah vid because I tried to find one this holiday season and there is nothing good that I found out there).

Your Teen Wolf vid did come out very threesomey but if it helps, that made me run off to netflix it. ;)

And your Community vid is definitely my most rewatched vid of yours (possibly ever).

I just stumbled onto this journal and amazing commentary. The way you feel and write about this medium and these shows really touches me. Now I want to watch them all--is the best way just to download them?

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